What Happens When The Disengaged Employee Is You?

Business minds have been talking a lot about “engagement” in the workplace lately. The scene is shockingly worse than most of us thought. Forbes’ recent article highlights Gallup’s latest survey findings:

Fewer than 1 in 3 (30%) of American workers are committed to the success of their organization and are engaged in their work. Over half (52%) are ‘disengaged’ – defined as ‘less emotionally connected’ and not willing to do any more than necessary to keep their job. Most alarming of all, nearly 1 in 5 workers are ‘actively disengaged’ – actually against their organization, their boss or both.₁

Yikes. As a business and community leader myself, this statistic is depressing. It tells me that we have a lot of work to do to activate the potential of those we work with and serve every day. A LOT of work.

It also strikes a chord. Deep in my gut, I know what it feels like to be on the other end of this data – the one in the room that is daydreaming of working anywhere but here, the one whose passions can never seem to be contained inside of a single job description. When my business ebbs and flows with the seasons like all consulting firms do, I get antsy. I get bored, feel underutilized, guilty for not working my tail off, and fall into a predictable funk. I want to contribute as much as I can, like most people do. Yet, it is a rare scenario that every single day of our working lives will be purpose-filled and electrifying. Dammit.

So, when the disengaged person in the room is YOU, what do you do?

Here’s my way out:

1.    Self-Reflect: I journal a lot. Even more so when I am not feeling my best. This includes when I sit down at my desk in the morning and realize I’ve got a huge “boulder” in my way clogging my mind. So I take a few minutes to write it all out and literally clear it out of my way. Sounds like a waste of precious time, but those 15 minutes are probably the most effective in getting my head on straight. This is how I show up fully.

Don’t fight your struggle – give it room to express itself. Give it a voice on paper. Validate your experience and your needs. I promise that bringing light to what ails you will lessen its pressure considerably. Sometimes, we just need to be heard. Even by us.

2.    Connect with Your Gurus: My inner circle freaking rocks. When I notice my energy is apathetic or even angry at work, post-writing session I immediately reach out to my most trusted personal friends and “teachers.” They may not know it, but I call them my “personal board of directors.” These women and men are people with whom I can fully express myself and know I’m safe. I can show them my “ugly” and they’ll still love me (a miracle, I know!). They have my back and my best interests at heart. They see my bigness, my heart, and my potential. Of course, they are much wiser than me.

Find your people who can give you the same room to learn. They will be your battery source. If you don’t have anyone now, that’s perfectly okay. Start looking for people you admire and trust, then cultivate a relationship. The best ones are mutually supportive. And they don’t happen by accident. Build your tribe.

3.    Let Yourself Be Known: As I connect with my circle of gurus, I am simultaneously sharing about my passions, goals and visions for who I want to be. Even if you’re like me and just need to ride the wave within your current company, keep reaching out to new people. For me, that meant getting involved in my community and volunteering. I’m now part of three incredible organizations. They allow me to fulfill a personal need to contribute, while also putting me in front of a ton of strangers. These strangers, surprisingly, happen to be excited by my “day job” and have started networking for me – my partners in crime! It’s incredibly energizing, and both my firm and I are reaping the rewards.

It all started because I put myself out there. I found something I was interested in, asked if I could help, and surprise – I have a huge new community network that is satisfying my work and personal goals in unexpected ways. So, go surprise yourself. If there’s a nagging voice in your head to volunteer at a dog shelter, go do it! It’s Life telling you that something great may happen when you do. Could be the people you’ll meet or the passions you’ll uncover when you follow your heart. Side effect: your work enjoyment will likely go up tenfold on its own. I dare you!

4.    Take Care: When we’re unhappy at work, it can be a red flag that we’re not taking care of ourselves. For me, I get my tush into yoga class multiple times a week (you should thank me for that, I’m much less crazy when I do). I will take some deep breaths in the morning before I get out of bed and obsess over my iPhone. I take long walks on my lunch break. I get massages, eat healthfully, and do my number one job – take care of ME. When I’m in good shape, so is my work and those who work with me.

This doesn’t mean you need to go on a radical health kick. Just restore some balance in your life. What gives you energy and joy and peace? Do more of that. If baking cookies makes you giggle like a child, please, go bake! Find your “happy” and be healthy with it. You matter. Your work (and your team) needs you to be well taken care of. And it’s not their job to do it – it’s yours.

If you’re disengaged at work, your LIFE is calling. Start listening to that quiet hum inside of you. Nurture it. Work should be an evolving expression of who we really are. Is yours?

Resources:

1.     Warrell, Margie. (2013).’70% Disengagement’ – 3 Ways To Engage Those Who Aren’t. Forbes. Retrieved from: http://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2013/06/07/70-disengagement-3-ways-to-engage-those-who-arent/

Broken Enough

Maybe God breaks our hearts

Open
Over and over
Again until we’re

Broken enough,

Spacious

Enough

To let our Great Big Love in

Until he trusts that we can

Hold it in our

Fragile hands and

Appreciate the beauty,

The miracle

Of what we are

When our eyes laugh together

Haunted

Have you ever felt haunted

By another

Strong soul, dwelling

In your mind

Taking refuge in your heart

Waiting?

Your words pierce me

Their truth poignant and beautiful

Illuminating

You change me

How could there be another

That gets me like you do?

To be seen - really seen - is The Great Gift.

To be tucked inside the love of your Other,

The only dream worth this discontent

Four Sides

Did you know there are

Four sides

To your heart?

I’d been putting all my thoughts

On the front

Thinking that’s where you were

Turns out you were hidden

Way in the back

Accessible only with forgiveness

I let you go today

From the front and the sides

Breathed deep into the regret

Regret for what could have

(Should have?)

Been

I opened and stretched way past

The familiar parts

Into the blind spots

Feels like I shouldn’t even talk about you anymore

You’re not open – it’s not a possibility

Maybe ever in this lifetime

I’ve let you go from the front

Of my heart

Slowly releasing you from the other sides

May take some work

But that is what is

Right

For Magic

Magic to me is like fireflies. Flashes of light, brilliance, for your eyes to wonder even if only for a moment. Magic to me is in the surprise, in the unexpected touch that starts your heart. It’s the purpose you love and can’t keep yourself from fulfilling, as though your soul is unapologetic about its using of your body to do that one thing so good that it could care less about eating or sleeping or other human body stuff. Magic is grace in grief, holding of a hand, holding in silence another’s pain. Letting them be, letting them know that eventually, this will all be okay. Magic is in the little precious girl practicing yoga with her beautiful mommy in class, exploring this big world a little timid and showing up anyway. Magic is in the connections you never know where they’ll lead but your reaching out could change someone’s life, and all you did is make an introduction.

I do this all for the magic. All for the tender glimpses of pure life – so sweet, so spectacular it makes me weep. Yes – that. That is what I came here for. To soak up every morsel and pass the note to others, saying “Did you hear about this thing? It is incredible… I’ll take you.” Yes, that is me. Just trusting and following my nose and expanding my crew along the way. The magic always leaves a trail.

Okay

and just like that… we

are whole again.

like the insanity and devastation

never scarred us,

the grief no longer accessible with a slight

shift in the wind or

relentless spate of uninvited memories

like before.

suddenly, surprisingly,

(against our wishes even!)

we find ourselves

okay.

I'll Meet You

I’ll meet you

There in the vastness between

Rivers and crops of trees and life –

Infuriating, necessary, nourishing life –

Where the only presence

Greater than our ego

Is the emptiness

To My Visionaries

When you dream big dreams

And make way for a future ripe with magic,

You naturally risk heartbreak

For to be so bold as to proclaim with gusto what could be

In the face of the stubborn and ugly what is

Is madness, no?

A little madness,

A lot more gumption and fire and belief in

The beauty of the unseen

To be a visionary is to be a lover

Neither for the faint of heart, and

The only fuel for our breathing

In the What If

There is an ocean beneath this thin veil

Steady, rocking, deep – a

World of love and pain and aching for more, more

You asked me once not to show you

For fear it might swallow you up,

So I kept it away

But even in the silence exists a knowing

Palpable, tangible, undeniable, huge – this

Ocean belongs to both of us

You stand at the edge of grace

Begging for your elusive ideal,

Sloppily wading and fighting the inevitable

I wait. And I love. And I hold you.

Fly

When you know you’re on the brink,

You just know.

Like the greatness

Is spilling out the sides

Of your slender container

Begging,

Bursting

For more life!

Greatness must be obeyed.

I know because my skin is crawling.

The self that I am today,

Clinging to a shell

Of who I am

About to become,

My tippy toes wiggling

Off the

Ledge of a giant canyon

Where I am I couldn’t tell you precisely yet

Just that the dirt is red,

The sky a pale inviting blue,

My spirit is soaring,

And my body is about to fly

Like

A

Bird.

Art of Leading: Doing & Being

If I told you now

you are already 

a leader,

a game changer

in my world,

would you believe me?

If I showed you

all the ways

others/I

look to you

for hope,

light,

truth –

would you not see the

magnitude

I

see?

It won’t take you long if you look even for a brief minute. Libraries upon libraries are written every day on the subject of leadership. Steps for success, tips to remember, things to do/not do, people to emulate… it’s all there. It’s exhaustive. And exhausting.

It’s an overwhelming notion, really, the idea of influencing another. We pray to God that we don’t screw them up, or screw big things up like entire corporations. We want so badly to mean something, to make our mark in our insanely short time here. For the bold among us, that often looks like sticking our necks out when others won’t. When things get scary or blurred, the brave among us step in to offer what we can for the benefit of our colleagues and friends. Doing the best with what we have… doing what we can for the benefit of others.

As you may know, title does not equal leader. Authority does not a leader make. Of course, there are incumbent responsibilities with any role. These are the activities an effective leader must do to ensure the well being of her/his people or company. You can read a mound of books on that. All valid and mostly all true.

All the while, the character of a leader must count for something, too, right? Who that leader is as a person? Yes! Of course it does. You can study up on that, too. Typically, this wisdom shows up not in the business section of the bookstore but the self-help or spirituality sections. Business and life wisdom – would we dare? Ask anyone who has been leading for a significant amount of time and they will tell you that what makes them effective is not a simple, one-size-fits-all, disconnected approach. Rather, her/his leadership journey has been a collection of experiences, teachers, insights on the intellectual realm and psychological/emotional/spiritual one. As they’ve acquired knowledge, they’ve also had to strip away parts of a façade to uncover who they really are. The best lead from that aware place – fully embracing their intellect, their action, their passions, and their purpose. That is the bedrock of FMG’s Wisdom Leading™ approach, which holds the Doing and Being capacities of a leader as equally sacrosanct. A wise leader understands and performs in both dimensions, time and again, regardless of context.

So, what does this actually look like? On the Doing side, there are five domains a leader must master. First, know your business. Be qualified to be in the room. If you already have the title, it’s likely that you’ve got this one mostly nailed already. And, we can always learn more about our organization, market, industry. Stay hungry here. Next, demonstrate strategic thinking. Do you see the big picture? Do you make sense for others about how your work, team, or organization fits into the whole? If not, this is an important piece to develop. You can’t lead others with your head in the weeds.

Third, others must want to follow you in the ways both you and they need. In other words, you must enable committed actions from your people. If they don’t see value in what you’re up to, or don’t find a place for themselves in that vision, they won’t buy in. Fourth, leaders are accountable for the growth of their teams through active development. Are you providing what your team members need through delegation, mentoring, and stretch assignments? Put simply, are they learning under your watch?

Finally, your words, values and actions must line up. Demonstrating integrity is critical to your legitimacy. Do you mean what you say, and do you do what you say you will? Even more, do your actions match what you say matters to you? For most of us, this is never a state of perfection, but rather a constant source of watchfulness and diligence. Your integrity is all you have as leader – manage it vigilantly. Seriously.

What about this Being business then? With all those qualities, you’d be in great shape to influence plenty and make a positive difference. However, most of us have had bosses who were great delegators, strategists or communicators, but were really crummy people. What you do alone won’t get you to leadership stardom. You must also be great.

When we say Being, here’s what we mean. First, it means exhibiting an open, inclusive worldview that considers others’ experiences and beliefs as equally as valid as your own. You are willing to listen and value someone else’s truth. Second, it means you generate innovative ideas. Are you willing to challenge paradigms and offer breakthrough solutions to entrenched problems? Are you willing to stick your neck out? Third, a truly effective leader knows what his/her strengths are and knows how to bring them fully to the role. Your unique “genius” – talents, expertise, and passions – is clear and expressed for the benefit of those around you. If others can’t ID your genius, it’s likely you haven’t discovered it yet. Go, now, and find it.

Next, an effective leader shows up “all in.” They are engaged, committed, and find ways to ensure they can remain so for the long-term. They nurture their personal wellbeing so they feel their best, and thus give their best, everyday. Last, the most remarkable leaders are in the room, in the moment. Mindful, aware, and thoughtful. They practice a state of presence. They know how to still their minds in chaos, cultivate calm and clarity when it’s needed most. They can distill what matters into a simple, clear path forward because they’re awake to it. At their core – and at the core of Wisdom Leading – is a reverence for Mindful Presence – that state of being that spiritual traditions tout as the way to the Divine. Wise leaders know that it is the way to access their best stuff. All “woo-woo” aside, this is the juice at the heart of it all.

There is no great leading without wisdom, without acknowledging that what’s at the very heart of who we are is exactly what others need and want to follow. Our actions simply express what we believe inside. At FMG, we say leading is “building capacity of self and others to achieve breakthrough results.” The process is explicitly external – i.e. results matter! – and internal, so does who you are. No one ever said being a wise and great leader was for the faint of heart. Thank God it’s not.

 In tending to our full capacity as a human being, may this sacred relationship between the leader and the led give us access to all we believe is possible. In it, may we find our way.

Transparent Teams: The Dark Side of the Light

“What we do not make conscious emerges later as fate.” – Carl Jung

With the advent of technology, social media, and the new “reputation economy”₁ touted in business today, there is a clear call for leaders to be increasingly transparent. “Be honest, be open, be vulnerable!” they say. In my roles as leader, leadership coach, and follower of leaders, I see so much that this rallying cry for transparency implies that I’m compelled to peel back the layers on transparency itself. While the “what” is exciting and progressive, there is a lot that I’m curious about regarding the “why” and “how.” Most importantly, I wonder, what impact does a transparent leadership culture have on individuals and the teams in which they work? And, how can we ensure it is a positive one?

First, a definition. The word “transparent,” according to Merriam-Webster means, “having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen.” In other words, transparency is the act of being clear about your intentions, values, feelings, and commitments – i.e. who you are and how you make decisions. The more people know you, the more they can trust and value you.

Now, let’s take a look at the transparency trend in the realm of leadership. According to Forbes’ contributor Glenn Llopis, leaders who are transparent with their people gain five significant benefits: enhanced problem solving, ability to build teams easier, authentic relationships, higher trust, and increased levels of organizational performance.₂ Llopis argues that workers today are disillusioned and in need of security more than ever. Information from their leaders about what’s really going on – for the company and its leaders – will enable them to “plan and protect themselves” against uncertainty. CEO Halley Bock takes it a step further, suggesting that truth telling is critical to sustainable learning organizations.₃ She references the Papau New Guinea term “mokita,” which means “that which everyone knows and no one speaks of.” For Bock, leaders actually cause harm to their organizations when mistakes are not exposed, dealt with candidly, or worse, covered up. Ideally, the number of mokitas in a team or organization is few, and those that exist are quickly brought to light.

Makes sense to me. An avid truth seeker myself, I couldn’t agree more with the demands for openness and honesty. Wearing my heart on my sleeve is standard practice – why beat around the bush when you can create connection and clarity so quickly? And yet…

I’ve seen the challenges of building transparent teams and organizations first hand. I am intimately familiar with the pangs of regret from putting yourself on the line, otherwise known as a “vulnerability hangover.” Brene Brown covers this beautifully in her book, Daring Greatly.₄ I know what happens when trust is broken, when a team is not willing to deal with the truth courageously together, or when transparency becomes a weapon in the fight for survival. I believe strongly that there is a way to be transparent AND nurture emotional safety, to build trust and collaboration WITHOUT creating disillusioned, wounded human beings. It requires not extreme sensitivity but awareness; courage, resilience, and vulnerability.

Let me share two stories: one, an executive team overcomes tremendous interpersonal conflict together in an afternoon; and two, a high-trust, highly transparent executive team unintentionally breeds an organizational culture marked by competition and conflict-ridden teams.

1.     We knew this healthcare organization was in trouble. Its executive leaders were outright warring, no clear strategy was in place, and the financial state proved it. On organizational surveys, employees described the company as “toxic,” with many pointing to the conflict at the top as a significant pain point. My colleague and I began working with the CEO and his top 11 executives at the end of a year marked by brutal change and blistering workloads. The leaders were exhausted, burned out, and in pain. They were also really good people. We began our engagement with leadership 360° surveys, a Leader’s Pulse survey (mini-engagement survey for the top 30), and coaching around a powerful personality profile called the Enneagram. When we met with the group for our first team offsite, we had already spent hours with each leader, getting to know them intimately and hearing their needs/ concerns. Over 2 ½ days, my colleague and I were able to create a space in which the leaders felt safe to be themselves, openly share their fears and dreams, and “lay down their armor,” as the CEO noted. In other words, we invited their human-ness back into the room. Transparency thrived because people felt safe and valued. Leaders dealt directly with the conflict, used tools to understand themselves and each other, and reestablished their commitment to one another. The vulnerability and healing were palpable. The team was restored, and transparency a welcome ally.

2.     All organizations have a unique DNA – this pharmaceutical company is profoundly wired for heart and candor. Their executive team engages in intense dialogue regularly; they have close personal and professional relationships; and they trust each other intimately. These leaders invest in leader and culture development year after year – they “get it.” Transparency is currency and they cultivate it in droves. Yet a peculiar undercurrent has begun to take shape at lower levels in the organization. Instead of creating an open, supportive environment at the manager and director level, this culture of transparency has resulted in fierce competition. Where no “politics” exist at the highest level, scheming and maneuvering are rampant at lower levels. I believe that many factors play into this phenomenon, such as certain hiring practices and work design trends, yet one thing is clear – when transparency is not coupled with a demand for collaboration, vulnerability can be used to pit one against another. Conflict on functional teams, as well as between teams, abounds. While these lower leaders are likely unconscious or unintentional in creating this dynamic (they, too, are incredible, worthy people), without a strong imperative (and metrics) that marry transparency with emotional safety and interdependence, the results can undermine the entire operation. Thus, the executives find themselves running a company with great, unfulfilled potential. Until they figure out how to support a transparent culture appropriately, they’ll struggle to achieve its ultimate promise – great trust, collaboration, and high performance.

As a leader interested in becoming more transparent yourself, or in building an organization marked by transparency, ask yourself these questions: To what end will transparency support my/the organization’s goals? What structures can I/we put in place to support openness with support (emotional and structural)? And, when is transparency serving my organization’s broader goals and when is it serving my own?

As with all things, awareness as to “why” you behave (or want to behave) in a particular manner is often the make-or-break between creating a positive leadership impact and an unintentionally harmful one for your people. Lead wisely.

Resources:

1.     C. Thompson. (2007, March). The See-Through CEO. Wired. Retrieved from: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/15.04/wired40_ceo.html

2.     G. Llopis. (2012, September 10). 5 Powerful Things Happen When A Leader Is Transparent. Forbes. Retrieved from: http://www.forbes.com/sites/glennllopis/2012/09/10/5-powerful-things-happen-when-a-leader-is-transparent/

3.     H. Bock. (2012, April 3). The Case for Transparency in Leadership. Chief Learning Officer Magazine. Retrieved from: http://clomedia.com/articles/view/5001/

4.     Brown, Brene. 2012. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York, NY: Gotham Books.